There are a few words that I absolutely hate. I hate them because they send the wrong message, because they divide people instead of bringing them together, because they create this irrational idea that “one is better than other” and make people self-conscious about their likes, choices, dreams.
Those words are: buzzword, guilty pleasure, and “I’m not like most people.”
Buzzword is such a false friend! It’s normal that some things get to be more “popular” or “on top” than others. We’re just hoomans and we like to be like other people. Is it wrong to try and belong? No! Is it fake? Maybe sometimes – maybe if someone decides to do CrossFit just because it’s popular, but they absolutely hate it. Yes, then it might be fake – but who are we to judge it? It’s within that particular person to decide if they do it because of passion or interest, or whether they simply follow the bandwagon. And I’m not saying it’s easy – hell, of course, I’m guilty of it. But we grow, we learn, we develop, we have the possibility to discuss things with our family and friends, or a therapist. Even if something started because of a trend, we have the possibility to reevaluate its presence in our lives and make the right choice. Is it wrong that some ideas are being popularized, if they work? They might not work for everyone, yes, but if they work for someone and they feel like sharing their story – why not? If they don’t work for you, just skip them, move on, focus on something positive in your life!
I know it’s just a saying, but guilty pleasure irks me so much because of the negativity that I feel hides behind it. It’s usually given to things that are not considered “cool” (that’s how I understand it). First of all, who the heck decides what is cool and what isn’t? Me, that’s who! I don’t need a newspaper, a YouTuber, or anyone else tell me what is cool (within reason, of course – if, for example, someone thinks hitting people is cool, then they’re assholes and should be put in their place). I’ll make that decision for myself. You don’t have to like, you don’t have to think it’s cool for you, but don’t call the shots for me.
Second of all, if something brings me pleasure, why should I feel guilty about it? Looping back to the first point – because you don’t think it’s cool or trendy? Nah, I’m not into it. What I’m into are things that make me happy and I refuse to put any kind of negativity on them, even if they’re put into the unpopular (because, again, who decides that)! I feel like I’m going in circles, but hopefully, you get my point with this one!
Also, funnily enough, while I was writing this piece, one of my favorite YouTube creators, KickThePJ, posted a Q&A episode and the first question is exactly about guilty pleasures, go watch it (you don’t have to watch the rest of the questions, lol, but PJ is well worth it anyway if you’re a creative, he’s responsible for “Oscar’s Hotel for Fantastic Creatures,” a short series about an eccentric, sometimes scary, sometimes crazy hotel for magical beings), click here to watch: KickThePJ about guilty pleasures.
One of my favorite songs (but NOT my guilty pleasure, I love this song whether you think it’s cheesy or not!) is “Most Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld (who you can mostly know from “True Grit,” for which she was nominated for an Oscar, more fun-driven “Pitch Perfect” parts 2 and 3, and my favorite of hers, 2019 millenial rendition of poet Emily Dickinson’s life in an Apple TV absurdits show “Dickinson,” (and before any of you say it’s not fully historically accurate – yes, I hear you! Emily Dickinson is one of my favorite poets to the level of having her poetry books inscribed with my notes, hehe. Even though this show is not a biopic, it’s pretty close to the events, actually, and it’s pretty clever too! But I digress, apologies!).
The song starts with a cute end-of-the-date scene when a boy says “I like you, you’re not like most girls” and Hailee… leaves. She gives a powerful tribute to all girls around, no matter the body type, hair color, sexual orientation, fashion choices, and whatnot. The songs is a hymn to all girls and being like all girls, because – no matter differences – we are all strong, powerful, beautiful, and it’s an honor to be a girl and to be like someone else who is an awesome human being. And I love this! And, pushing that further, it goes for all people – girls, boys, and everyone in between. I get that we all want to be special, but is it really so bad that we do like the same books, or movies, or music? Is it so bad that we do share interests? To me, this is an opportunity to connect with likeminded people, to find inspiration and strength, to share my devotion. And, also, to nerd out, haha! The fact is that we can like the same stuff, and be different at the same time! We are all unique by our stories, emotions, backgrounds, nationalities, thoughts – and this is most important! Not what we like, but who we are!
I know it’s easier said than done, but the “love yourself” slogan really is true. The sooner you understand that you have the right to be who you want to be, do what you want to do, like what you really like without being shamed… The sooner you understand that no one can make you inferior without your consent, the better your life will be. So the next step for you is to try and stand up to anyone who tries to bully you for who you are! Below are two quotes I keep in my mind that help me stick to what I love, maybe they’ll help you too!